A new mum has shared how she regrets having a baby after missing her “old life” which consisted of alone time and “watching Netflix”.
The anonymous mum posted on the British parenting forum Mumsnet, writing that while she loves her 10-month-old baby, she couldn’t “shake the feeling” of regret.
“I just want to go back to my old life. I had a quiet, peaceful, unexciting life, and that’s what I like,” the mother-of-one wrote.
“I’m a very introverted, self-contained person and I was always happy just being by myself, working from home, watching Netflix in the evenings, enjoying nature, having dinner out now and again. Maybe a holiday once in a while.
“Obviously all that is gone now, and I don’t like it. I don’t like parenting.
“I think it’s mainly the constant sense of responsibility, constantly having to entertain a baby, never being able to just sit and relax and do nothing all day, always having to be on alert.”
The new mum continued: “I know having an older child will bring its own difficulties, but I’m wondering if I’ll enjoy it more once I can reason with her a bit and she can entertain herself more?? Or will I always regret the loss of my old life?
“Wondering what other people have found. I’ve read a few things from people with older children who still find it very hard and regret it! But maybe it’s because people find different things difficult.”
Other parents sympathised with the mum, assuring her that “it will get better”.
“’I’d like to say it gets easier as they get older, however both of mine are disabled,” one person commented.
“Had one healthy child that randomly developed a very serious disease at seven years old and now I can never switch off.
“It’s all part of parenting, you learn to take it in your stride as they get older that said they do get better at entertaining themselves”.
“It gets better!” another said.
“I found the baby age mind numbing because you are constantly on alert but never really doing anything YOU want to.
“Once you don’t have to watch every single thing they do, and they actually want to do quite fun things with you, it definitely gets better.
“Don’t get me wrong, long boozy brunches are a thing of the past, but you get much more of yourself back once they get to school age.”
A third person also commented that it will get better and “it won’t be like this forever.”
“’It will get better. Ignore anyone who relishes in telling you otherwise, babies are awful,” they wrote.
“It gets much easier when you can communicate with them [sic] two ways. It won’t be like this forever, I promise.”
A fourth person listed the ages when kids are “awful”.
“0 to 6 months – f**king awful,” they wrote.
“6 to 12 – slightly better than 0 to 6 but still f**king awful
“1 to 2 – the worst phase ever
“2 to 2.5 – not good but not bad
“2.5 to 3 – okay to good”
Meanwhile one person wrote: “I don’t think it’s so much the baby as the grieving for your old life.
“I felt all those things you do and I was an older mum who liked my lazy a** ways.
“When I had my second, my baby was just as tricky on paper, but I was no longer grieving my old life so it’s way easier.”