Ever met someone who is not your type at all, but suddenly, they start talking – and you find yourself getting all hot and flustered?
Think Adrian Brody, Adam Driver, Javier Bardem, Russell Brand, Benedict Cumberbatch, Pete Davidson, Mick Jagger and heck, even Rami Malek.
These are men who you would barely look twice at if you passed them in the street. But watch Mick Jagger working the stage like a god, or Adam Driver acting “quirky, weird, cute” in a movie and all of a sudden, you’re thinking, “could I?”
Yes girl. You could.
Why? Because they’ve got what TikTok is calling the “rizz”. And this cheeky dating tactic has tricked me into bed with a guy more than once.
Now before we get to that, I should probably explain what “rizz” is. It’s short for “charisma”, and according to Urban Dictionary, it’s defined as “the quality of attracting women without even trying (and) being the type of man that everyone knows has the suavest personality and charm in the room”.
Note: Not the hottest in the room. The most charm in the room. And it’s got women ripping their clothes off.
As I said, it’s worked a treat on me.
There was the skinny, lanky guy at a new job I rocked up to. He was giving stick insect vibes and I didn’t really pay him much attention.
That was until our first production meeting, when he started getting really passionate about the project we were working on. He was confidently throwing ideas left, right and centre. Dominating the conversation in a good way. Giving me props for my ideas and basically being a total boss. I couldn’t get enough of it.
By the time we made it to the end of our work contract I was absolutely gagging for this gorgeous Daddy long legs. His rizz worked a charm and before I knew it, we were celebrating between the sheets.
Then there was the guy who slid into my DMs during lockdown. He was far too old for me and bald as a badger. So, when he offered to make cocktails and go for a walk around our local suburb, my bored self thought, “sure, he’ll make for a good friend, but nothing more”.
Jump forward a few hours later, and his deep voice, cocky attitude and complete self-assuredness had me prepared to risk Covid for a bit of sexy time. Have to say, worth it.
The rizz I tell you. It’s dangerous.
And do you know who works it best? New Yorkers. I discovered this last year after jumping on a plane in search of my own “eat, pray, love” adventure.
I had been stuck in Sydney for far too long, coming across the same ol’ blokes on the dating apps who seemed to lack the suave gene. Their definition of wooing a girl was grunting “hey” as an opening line. Snore.
So in a slightly reckless move one night, I jumped out of bed, logged onto a travel site and booked a trip to New York.
Hands down, best decision of 2022. Why? Because New York men have game. Or should I say “rizz”, as we’re now calling it.
They have no fear in walking up to a gal and shooting their shot. I was getting hit on at bars, in clothes stores, on the subway. And I’m not saying I’m a glamour. I noticed it was happening to everyone. Men simply saw what they liked and went for it. How refreshing.
Perhaps Americans are just born with the rizz, but I’m telling you, their ability to confidently make the first move was turning men who I would normally consider a five into a 10 based simply on their bravado.
So let this be a lesson for us all. No longer shall we sook about never being able to get a date – instead, how about we try and inject a little rizz into our dating game?
It doesn’t require the gym or plastic surgery. Just the right mindset and a bit of assertiveness.
So next time you spot a woman (or man) in the crowd that takes your fancy, why not turn on the charm and go up and say hello? Woo them with your broad smile, confident demeanour and ballsy bravado.
And heck, if you’re not feeling all those things, simply fake it till you make it. You may very
well surprise yourself. It certainly worked for Pete Davidson.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking